Alright, everyone, the moment you've (hopefully) been waiting for is almost here. Lyric's one-shot for Just What I'm Dying For... is ninety-five percent done. What I mean by that is that I am now very happy with the core story, so now I would like to go back and clean it up where it needs. I've also had some wonderful people pre-read and offer their suggestions which I will see if I can incorporate into the story. (And don't worry, you'll get credit at the beginning of the chapter.)

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Yes, you read that right! Lyric's half of Just What I'm Dying For... is done and posted! Thank you to all who were so patient while waiting for this piece, and to all who have given it a chance. It really means a lot to me that you have.

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Replacing the rear struts on the Camry. The big shop wants $770 for the pair.

The old man who installed a lift in his two-car garage does it for $290.

Replacing the lower ball joints on the CRV. The big shop wants $600 or so for the pair.

The old man who installed a lift in his two-car garage does it for $260.

Replacing the flex hose on the Camry. The chain muffler store wants $500 to replace the flex hose, y-joint, and catalytic converter.

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Lessons we learned on this episode:

-If you get away scott-free, don't go back to re-crime the place

-If the lock on your door is broken, get it fixed

-You can scam dudes out of money for false promises of sex(not really a lesson learned)

-Don't sexually harass anybody, especially when you're on a flight

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This past week had some weird stories, mostly involving Florida man.

The lessons we learned this episode:

-If you're going to be playing Santa and delivering presents, sobriety is key.

-Don't steal a Baby Jesus from a Nativity scene and try to hold it for ransom on tiktoc.

-The people at Bass Pro Shop aren't trained to stop someone from stealing a fish from the store.

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A few lessons we have learned form today's episode:

-Just because the old drugs still work does not that give anyone an excuse to use them.

-If you make a bomb threat in an airport, you go on a forever list.

-If you think the Uber driver is going too slow, maybe ask them to speed up, don't steal their car.

Original Meme, Do Not Steal.

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In light of today’s events, I feel the need to speak up in regards to friendships.

Friends are a tremendous blessing to have…but there will always be ups and downs. There will always be times when friends have arguments, disagreements, and even fights. But there will also be times we kiss, make up, forgive, and forget. It’s all part of the friendship process. Nevertheless, there are limits in this relationship.

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Lessons we learned this week:
-Don't go to a Porsche dealership with a phony check in Indiana, that only seems to work in Florida
-Don't make a fake injury claim and sue. But if you do, commit to the bit.
-Apparently pilots will draw dicks in the sky with their flight path and some of them are really good at it

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Writing is not hard; starting is.

During the typewriter dark ages, we called it staring at a white page. Today, I suppose, it's staring at an empty screen.

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Every year Nash and Tara do the rectalspective where they go a handful of objects people got stuck in their various orifices listed on this site here.

The ultimate life lesson is, when going to the ER because you got something stuck in your orifice, tell the nurses the truth about why. If you make up some stuff, they won't believe you.

IN WHICH I REMEMBER AN OLD LESSON

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This week's life lessons learned:

-Keep an eye on your crotch goblins or they may very well steal your car. Though this kid kinda, sorta had a good reason.

-Don't make fun of people with Down's Syndrome. Nobody will feel bad when you get your ass kicked.

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This week the life lessons we learned are:

-Do not impersonate cops, they don't like it and will arrest you.

-You could be minding your own business going to the store or walking down the street or whatever and suddenly naked stranger...and you know it's never going to be someone you want to see naked.

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This episode just has a lot of people being assholes unnecessarily.

On this episode, the life lessons we learned:

-Don't steal cars or attempt to steal cars. If you do, choose something better to conceal your face than a underwear.

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This week they had some weird stories, with the last couple just being, DEAR SWEET EVIL JESUS!

Lessons we learned this week:

-Trucks do not indeed surf. However his mugshot is just...chef's kiss.

-I do not know what he was doing with all of that butter, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything good. Also, his mugshot is scary.

-When driving down the road, surrounded by illegal substances, maybe maintain a low profile.

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Lessons we learned this week:

-If you're in the military or are working for the military and using a dating app, and they start asking for classified information, maybe alert your superiors.
-Having high school kids lick peanut butter off of your toes is a sex crime, not a fund raising activity. Also, WTF Oklahoma?!
-If you set your apartment on fire, they will arrest you.

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This week the life lessons we learned:
-Don't be in a troupe of monkeys in Thailand and get into a fight with another troupe of monkeys. Apparently the police will arrest you. Which just begs the questions: Is there monkey jail? Are there monkey lawyers? Are there monkey courts and judges?

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Lessons on what not to d we learned this week:
-If you really like being in jail, give it a day or 2 after getting out before you crime again and make the cops work for their paycheck
-Don't print phony checks, but apparently the Porsche dealership doesn't run any sort of fraud tests
-Nothing on Netflix is worth going to jail over
-You can be going out in public and suddenly a naked rampage can happen in you vicinity

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Surprisingly this week there are no Florida man stories.

The life lessons we learned this week:

-When using a picture on a news broadcast, maybe do a quick last second double check. I'm not sure how the standards and practices are for Mexican networks, but if they're anything like how they are in the U. S., someone is getting fired super hard.

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